Lick-A-Chick Dive-In

[peeep]

Come one, come all as we take a peek into the what makes the Lick-A-Chick Dive-In what it is today. Feel free to add to this silly fictional story.

Sixth Meeting of the Day:

Gather round my frumpies, you too Downchuck "LMo", I have demands to impart.

As you all know, I am the Bossman of the Lick-A-Chick, LickALot, that's Mr. LickALot to all of you. I do hope you understand.

Heart, somehow you got it into your head that everyone who comes to the Lick-A-Chick wants to be served by you. I do enjoy the spectacle of your self-immolation, it does bring in business, but I must point out a few of your minor errors. You must stop spitting in the drinks, tripping, gagging, binding the others servers, borrowing tips & licking the food. Now I want to commend you on the hurt that you have inflicted on the customers and the irreparble damage that you do to the business.

Pizzle, no puzzle play on the job! That's my final warning.

Upchuck"k", I thought you said you could skate? I do enjoy the show as you shred your dignity. I'm thinking salad bar duty. Monitor for salad bar piggery.

Downchuck "LMo" put the floodlight back in the correct position and get back to mopping the floors.

Now, I have a 5 piece jazz band waiting in my office for my entertaining pleasure. Get back to work, we are the best Dive-In in town. Maybe, I'll conjure up some numbers to share with you at our next meeting.

[peeep]

Ooops, wrong forum! :irollers8

[rossshow]

No, this is good, I'm surprized no one posted. Maybe it should be in games? Let's let it ride for a bit.

[rossshow]

It did get 55 views. No posts.

[tekobari]

On the old Hienas tale, I only posted about jon (Caped Crusader) as Dracula, and two characters called Goose and Mule. I don't see room for them on the dive-in diner yet. Maybe Dracula could suck the life out of someone...

[Jasmine]

Maybe Dracula could suck the life out of someone...

I have a few people in mind...

[tekobari]

Mr. LickALot made goose and mule nervous. They were the newest hires at the Dive-In, and moose's skates didn't fit well. Actually, the two front ones did, but then he had to deliver the food and take orders with his lips. He wanted to ask Mr. LickALot if he could take the skates off his forefeet...

As Mr. LickALot was leaving the sixth meeting, Mule sidled up to him, asking, "Sir, could I have a minute of your time." Mr. LickALot, a Confident Man of Means, smiled in his paternalistic, condescending way, and said, "Keep it short. And make sure it's intellectually honest." Mule licked his dry lips and asked, "May I please, Sir, stand up to take orders and deliver food with my hooves? This way, I could save the LickAChick money, since I'd only need two skates."

Mr. LickALot's tongue, which could reach all the way to his twatnose, slithered out. He whipped it around the air, thought a bit, then replied, "I don't see why we couldn't try that. Yes, Moose. Give it a try."

"Um, it's Mule, Sir." The BossMan's vein popped out on his head. "Your name is what I say it is." He turned quickly and walked away from Mule.

Mule breathed out his sigh of relief. Now he was an official LickAChick employee who'd actually had an idea accepted by the BossMan himself! He skipped down across the floor to tell Goose.

[tekobari]

Editor's note: "They were the newest hires at the Dive-In, and moose's skates didn't fit well." The sentence should read: "They were the newest hires at the Dive-In, and Mule's skates didn't fit well."

[saabsister]

It was a slow day at the Lick-A-Chick D ive-In - 102 degrees outside and not much cooler inside. The manager Mr. LickALot had gone to town to buy more Dixie Cups and had left the two waitresses alone.

"I wish they'd fix the frikkin' sign", waitress B muttered."It attracts every pervert around."

Waitress A nodded as she observed a cherry red Corvette pull into space #7. "Fucking mid-life crisis mobile", she muttered as she looked at the balding , chubby driver with the blonde bimbo beside him."I'll try the squawk box first. Maybe I won't have to skate out to the car in this heat to take his order."

She pressed the intercom button and flinched at the static. "SSSQQQUUUAAk-May I take -SQUAAAK -your order, sir?" She idly looked at her image in the chrome trim around the door. Her white short shorts were crisply pressed;her camp shirt with its cute yellow chickens was primly buttoned. The 'effing orange hat setting on her head looked like a damn chicken's crown. As long as she could stay inside, she was spared having to wear the stupid cat-eye glasses/chicken beak combo on her face.

"SQUAAK - a plain omelet with tomato and toast on the side -SQUAAAAK",screeched the 'vette in the parking lot.

"We don't have that", she pressed the button and squawked back. "No substitutions. Order something on the menu!!"

Drawn by the racket Waitress B appeared behind her. "No substitutions, Bub!" she bellowed. "Order from the menu or hit the road. We're not some fucking chichi California fern bar here!"

[Heartland]

You must stop spitting in the drinks, tripping, gagging, binding the others servers, borrowing tips & licking the food. SKANK! I thought gagging and licking the food was cool because its bringing in the only hits this board is getting. YEAH even if I did do that you shouldnt have said anything and tried to embarrass me so I am LEAVING this board forever! Youll be sorry you stupid farthead!

Ungrateful skanks all of yas. I brought this dead board back to life and thats the payback I get. So be it. You wont have ol Heartburn to kick around anymore. So long.

[Heartland]

and FURTHERMORE,

YEAH Im leaving shortly so don't get your knickers in a twist about it.

I will be keeping my job as waitress A at the Lick-A-Chick because my butt looks good in the uniform but I will no longer let you use me for target practice in the employees lounge. The days of punchingbag Heartburn are over buster. I dont care if you think youre the expert chick-licker, didnt anyone ever tell you its not rocket science?

[Heartland]

Will someone tell that sniveling whiny mule in the corner to shut the hell up? A girl cant even hear herself think around here. You all KNOW I have important ponderments to ponder so knock off the noise and work quietly or Ill call you names.

[Heartland]

Oh shit here comes that woman whos always tryin to HELP me after I told her to STOP helping me. Hurry someone hide me before I get really annoyed and take it out on you.

[Heartland]

I was going to start a new thread to tell you goodnight but Im too tired, so goodnight.

[FLvamp]

Mr. LickALot and Vampy are in the LickALot office.

LickALot: Well dearie, yer certinly quallerfied, but I don't think I kin hire ya.

Vampy: What seems to be the problem, bub?

LickALot: I cain't get 'round them teeth ... and yer eyes ...

Vampy: This is discrimination you understand. ::sigh::

LickALot: ... and yer skin ... it's so, well .... white ....

Vampy: Ok, bub. ::stands up, primly pulls her teeny black mini down 1 mm to the top of her fishnet stockings:: I'll deal with you later. Some eventual evening, so get your affairs in order.

[Heartland]

Im here but Im going to work now, so don't bug me. You might see me at lunch, or you might not. You might see me tonight, or you might not. I might even be gone for 30 days. Or I might just watch some TV.

*skates down the road to the Dive In*

Ok you flappers cluckers licked chicks, Im here. I am NOT in a good mood because my right skate has given me a blister and my little hat wont stay on my HEAD. Also I have issues and they are FAR more IMPORTANT than anyone elses issues. Ill start ten discussions later about those if I feel like it. Ive been pondering the nature vs nurture thang again. Yes I KNOW Im obssessed over it but I need some answers. Or at least some excuses.

[Heartland]

Hey Chief Chick-Licker, Upchuck"k" just ate all the cheese from the salad bar! Damn I wanted some of that for my lunch. SKANK!

[peeep]

"ANALYZE THIS!" screams DownchuckLMo as he chases the Lick-A-Chick DJ with the stick, he intends to place up her ass.

Once that chore is complete DownchuckLMo consoles Heart.

DownchuckLMo: Heart if you want to be a maniac and call people stupid, I'm behind you 100%. I promise I will never get in front of you, k? What about that Scotum guy? Let's get a stick and poke him some.

In strolls Pukem wearing his new t-shirt that says right on it, I mean, right on it, for all to see WE DON'T DO DIVE-IN'S-WE GET THEM SHUT DOWN.

Pukem: I know that lady you called stupid and I don't think she's stupid as a box of rocks but then maybe you was talkin about somethin else like common sense or somethin like that. Where you talking about that? Cause that would make a difference in how I feel about her stupidness or her stupidlessness. Sometimes smarts, stupid and common sense all look alike or don't look alike. Maybe I'm saying she don't have common sense. Will that make you happy, if I say that? Will you like me then? Then she will still like me too. ROFLMAO

DownchuckLMo: So what! Pukem! I've already busted your ass once, now beat it.

Pukem: ok. Gotta run.

UpchuckK: Well, that's not exactly how I'd say it or what I'd mean.

Mr. Lick-A-Lot: GET ME SOME WOMENS OF COLOR IN HERE! No, not you PizzleG.