The new excuse - Rage

[sadie999]

Seems like a thread within a thread is, "Is Rage an Excuse?" Or perhaps, "How forgiving are we all expected to be?"

Susan Smith rages against her dead-end life and, in an attempt to win over a man who doesn't want children, kills her kids.

Some men rage against a country they feel is oppressing their country and they kill about 3000 innocent people at their place of work, as well killing as themselves.

A man is having a bad day and rages by beating his wife... his kids... his dog.

A woman is having a sucky day, month, year, and in a blinding rage at the injustices of life, sullies the reputation of a neighbor.

A teacher has just been served an unfair divorce judgement against a cheating spouse and is so enraged that she verbally abuses her students, even calling them stupid when they ask questions.

So, who do we forgive? Why do we forgive?

When we teach two year olds that screaming doesn't get them their way, are we being cruel because we don't accept their disgusting tantrums? And if we don't accept a two year old's tantrums, why are we deemed noncompassionate when we don't accept an adult's tantrums?

Does a real friend let a friend behave in this manner year after year, constantly forgiving and I'll even say encouraging this kind of behavior? Why is rage an excuse? And who is to judge whose pain is painful enough that they should be allowed to abuse a neighbor, spouse, child, building full of workers?

Is this the new excuse for the new millenium? I did it because I was enraged.

So, what do you all think? How much rage do we get to feel to get a pass on whatever despicable thing we want to do?

Peace,
Sadie

Disclaimer: I guess I don't really understand what goes where, so if this is in the wrong forum, my apologies in advance. I understood the old board a little better, but here chocolate is gossip, but cheese is not. Happy birthday is gossip... well, again, my apologies for being obtuse.

[bladepusher]

So, who do we forgive? Why do we forgive?

I try not to. I like the rage and keep it all to myself. :1tantrum: It's made me what I am today. :1crazy2: It feeds me and I feed it. :1kiss1:

[bluekazoo]

Rage is NO excuse for anything, in my opinion, as long as there are other outlets for that level of anger ... good grief, go outside and pull some weeds, rake leaves, walk, run, do something to work off the steam -- hell, shred newspapers or phone books and cuss a blue streak while you do it .. but using anger / rage to be rotten to someone else - a person, an animal, the other guy's headlights - that's just bad behavior, IMO.

Using rage as an excuse is just another way of NOT taking responsibility for one's actions ... if you screw up and act like an asshole, admit it, apologize, try to make amends, and move on ... but saying you were an asshole because you were pissed off - or because somebody was mean to you - or because you were having a bad day ... well, that's just passing the responsibility-buck and ultimately wins you less respect and you'll find yourself eventually sitting in your assholiness all alone ... and then you'll really have something to be upset about ...

Mature, well-adjusted individuals attempt to maintain a certain level of rationality ... when they go south (as we all do now and then) they try to fix things they've broken (including relationships) ...

(back to work, just took a TRS break while I ate my sandwich)

[mrpotatoheadd]

So, what do you all think? How much rage do we get to feel to get a pass on whatever despicable thing we want to do?I couldn't say exactly what the level of rage should be, but I think giving a pass to someone for a one-time event is fair if you truly believe the event was a singular one. I'd draw the line at giving a pass for a repeated pattern of behavior, though. Or for any rage inspired action involving the infliction of physical injury or major property damage (a totalled car vs. a broken glass, for example).

[boardbimbo]

If a person in his rage becomes destructive or malicious, I draw the line at that.

[10x]

"If a person in his rage becomes destructive or malicious"

If rage last long enough it always goes in that direction. Its a human thing that folks like to deny hapens. It still does not aleviate the responsibility for their actions.

[zeldas]

What Blue said :1tantrum:

[Shadowcat]

Personally, I blame chemo for everything.:D

[Zilvy]

It all boils down <heh> to eating food from plastic containers that were :1clap5: put in the microwave!

[newslady]

LMAO, Zil

[Zilvy]

THINK ABOUT IT! The time line, Road Rage and Microwave Ovens!

[Kashtin]

This thread just PISSES ME OFF!!!!!!!

[Zilvy]

O Hell Kashtin....oops I mean Hello...go jump into your car and run down a little blue haired old lady with a walker! That should make one of you feel better!!

Nooooo microwave cookies for youuuuuuu!

Sadie, seriously (or otherwise) rage is not an excuse it is nothing more than lack of control and social ineptness. It is not to be tolerated, whether it is speach or actions.

[rossshow]

heheheh! Zilvy.

[Toy Ranch]

So, what do you all think? How much rage do we get to feel to get a pass on whatever despicable thing we want to do?


Rage does not excuse despicable behavior.

[agentorange]

Rage is why some people don't have any friends...

[*dm*]

There is no excuse for that type of rage...period. If you can't emotionally handle what life throws at you and you find excuses to abuse other people because of that inability to handle life, you need to seek help. We have become a nation that can't responsibility for our own actions, and hopefully the parents of today will instill in their children(also speaking of my own kids here) that they have to own their words and actions. The only way to change the current path our country is going down is to make the change in our children, and instill in them responsibility for their actions. I allow NO excuses in my home from anybody, including myself. I was able to teach my kids a valuable lesson this summer when I failed one of my college classes. Instead of blaming the instructor, or blaming the fact that I have kids, or any other number of excuses that I could have come up with, I owned up to the fact that I fucked up. I was having too much fun this summer and didn't hunker down and do the work that I should have been doing...I am now paying the price by having to retake the class, and also screwing up my GPA that I had previously worked so hard for. But did I rage about this fact? Hell no! I know where and how I screwed up, and in the process, was able to show my kids that I am able to own up to what I did.

We have to start taking a good hard look at what is becoming of this country and do something about it. Quit talking and take action.

[oddish]

I say take it on a case by case basis. Is it a pattern? Is it the result of something else? Is it just poor behavior? Does the person realize what they are doing? Are they doing it to hurt people or are they in a situation they don't know how to handle?

There are way too many variables of circumstances in the universe to answer that question with a blanket statement.

Then other questions spring to mind. Can you show one party compassion without condoning the behavior they exibit? Should other people forgive just because you do. Should other people not forgive because you don't? Even when we think we have a total understanding of circumstances do we really? When do circumstances cease to matter and only the crime remain? Are we doing any good being critical, either to the injured party or the offending party? Do we want to do any good or just say our piece? Are people a sum of many parts?

I don't really know the answers to any of them. Personally, I have a few absolutes. Hurt a child and I really don't care what your circumstances are. Ok I guess that's really my only absolute. Outside of that I try to look at a persons motives or where they are coming from. I try to understand even really bad behavior the first few times..especially if it isn't a pattern. As far as crimes go, for the most part but again subject to the circumstances, I think that taking the punishment for the crime is probably in the best interests of both the victim and the perpetrator.

I also think things that appear to be rage aren't really or moreover the rage is just a surface display of an inner despair. It's like addressing the symptoms and not the problem. Are we responsible for helping other people through their problems or just reacting to the symptoms as they effect us? I dunno...that's a complex question in and of itself. I'd like to think so at least until we've tried all we can do.

I don't really like the concept of disposable people. Granted I think there are some people who through their actions I'm not inclined to offer anything else to. I think pedophiles should be shot. I think serial murderers should also be shot. I think cold-blooded murderers should be shot but there are some people who have commited a muder who I think still have a chance at something and we shouldn't write them off until we have tried.

So I guess the point of this entire post is...to each his own. Those choices can't be made for us by someone else. We have to find the answers for ourselves.

[krisinluck]

There's no doubt that rage has become a cop out, and is becoming more acceptable all the time as an excuse. And that...well, it enrages me. lol

But I also know that sometimes there is a fine line between rage and a breakdown. I am one of those people who processes pain as fury. Just ask my poor husband. He'll tell you. I get teary eyed at the National Anthem, and I'll comfort anyone who is hurting - but I am unable to give that same compassion to myself.

So I guess that makes me a fence-sitter on this one, and I apologize for that. I hate fence-sitters too.

I do think it's awful that so many use rage as an excuse for their behavior. However, having been lost in that kind of surreal mindset myself at two very different points in my life, I also understand how it can happen. Mind you, my own experience was pretty tame compared to much of what we see and hear on the news - I didn't kill anybody, or maim anybody, or even throw anything against a wall, but it was horrifying to live through.

Y'know...I deleted a lot of this, so if it's disjointed, that's why. Just not wise to open up here that much.